Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
