i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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