I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
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