ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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