Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
