so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
