I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
