I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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