I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We had to coat check the pizza.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
