Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Acid is not a monday night drug
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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