Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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