do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
