yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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