I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
