p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
