Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
The convent might be a nice break from real life
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
