If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
