why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
