Say something about gay babies.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Randomize
