How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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