I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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