Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
