i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
