I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
