Christians are straight up FREAKS
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
