He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
