Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
