Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
