We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
