Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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