In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
