Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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