Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
