Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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