Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
