the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Randomize
