I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
