So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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