Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
