Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
