when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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