that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Randomize
