she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
