Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
