I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
