This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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