I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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