Sponge bath it is.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
