Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
i out mim tonsoeep
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