I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
