I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
