Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
