My friends, they love my intelligence
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
