Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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